How To Eat Sushi Succesfully 
So you waltz into your local sushi joint and are assaulted by a multitude of aromas. Behind the bar sushi chefs are dicing and slicing with the greatest of finesse, while everywhere people are slurping up their miso soup, chowing down on their ginger salad, spearing shrimp tempura on the end of their chopsticks or savoring their salmon teriyaki. They’re guzzling dumplings and swilling Sapporo beer, they’re chowing it up like it’s the end of the world and this is their last meal, but what matters, what everything centers around, the alpha and omega of any true Japanese meal is the sushi, the sashimi, the raw fish and slivers of vegetables and crab and shrimp and eel that embellish rolls of rice or stand alone. But how to win at this? How to win? The trick is to realize that not all Japanese food is made equal, and that when it comes to your heart, that plush beating center which all of us must consider when dining out, when it comes to your heart, some Japanese food is positively deleterious, while others are excellent. How to tell? You scan the menu frantically, sweating bullets, under the gun, seven waitresses tapping their order pads in unison, swaying and staring at you with the intensity of lazer beams. What to order? How to win at this most deadly of games? The first thing you should blurt out is that you want sesame seeds on your sushi rollls. A murmur will immediately shiver through the assembled ranks fo attendant diners as they all confirm the wisdom of your choice. Sesame seeds are an excellent source of brain enhancing magnesium. Now, should be visiting a restaurant of poor quality, and all seven waitresses cast themselves down in apology, stating that they have none, don’t panic: order masago caviar for the win! It’s a great source of omega-3’s, yo. Then, move onto the next part, don’t hesitate, don’t squander your hard earned edge. If possible, order sushi that has either Atlantic salmon, farmed rainbow trout or Pacific halibut. Those should be your fish of choice, due to their excellent protein content and high omega-3’s. Leave the tuna alone, don’t be a hoodlum. They’re being fished into extinction, so try some trout. Remember! Don’t eat anything fried! Leave the tempura for the unhealthy who care not for their hearts! Ignore Philadelphia rolls, ignore California rolls, and stick to the raw, the pure, the extreme! Finally, avoid fake crab meat. I mean really, what’s the point?
